Archive for June, 2008|Monthly archive page

Electronic Artists

oh, how far has the ea apple fallen from the tree when they are being called out for “creating an environment where anonymity is not only accepted, but expected as well.”  by mainstream media even.

ouch.

ah.  i miss the old days of putting developer names on the box.

m3mnoch.

Dude. WoW is SOOOOO different than WAR!

yeah.  you read that right.  they’re totally different.  world of warcraft is completely different than warhammerduh!

halo?  totally different than brute force.  hell.  different-er than crysis even!

two.  different.  games. 

saint’s row and gta?  hello?  are you blind?!?!  different!  duh!  one has religious undertones!

like, omg!  you morons!

i bet you can’t even tell the difference between sonic and mario….  and god forbid you ever need to extol the various intricacies of the gameplay between dragon quest and final fantasy.  much less something as epic as kingdom hearts or blue dragon.

n00bs.  you just don’t understand.  nevermind.  i’m done with you.

*sigh*

you can stop reading now.  the post is over.  that’s all i had to say.

you just won’t go away, eh? 

wow.  you’re still here?

okay.  fine.

i’ll tell you of the infinite differences between wow and war.  ready?  here we go.  bow to my wisdom:

  1. in wow, you have different character roles when you play in groups — tanks, healer, nuker, etc.
  2. in wow, you have these quests you go on.  and, get this!  so can everyone else!  and, like if someone else killed those ten rats before you did?  all you have to do is stand around and wait for the mobs to respawn.
  3. oh, btw, wow has these things called mobs.  that’s awesum-speak for bad guys.
  4. and, in wow, these mobs drop items and gold and other rad loot.
  5. and, when you’re in a group in wow, you can do what’s called “pulling” to drag single mobs over so your group can team up and bash the shit out of them.
  6. but, sadly sometimes in wow, you can slip up and draw too much agro.  i dunno what that means, really, but those mobs sure do get pissed at me!
  7. in wow, the best way to level up, is to go out on quests and whack mobs so you gain experience.
  8. and don’t forget, in wow, you get totally a ton of respect from the other players when you do that.
  9. ah!  and the gear!  wow has sweet gear that comes in colors.
  10. and, in wow, you can trade or sell that gear with other people in the auction house.
  11. and, in wow, you can like die and then you come back in a designated area to rejoin your group.
  12. hrm.  in wow, running around to get somewhere sucks.  you should totally use a teleporter or a mount or something.
  13. in wow, you have these raid bosses.  you can’t solo them.  no way.  and they drop mad loot.
  14. in wow, camping that epic rules!
  15. in wow, you can chat with your group or even the whole server!
  16. in wow, you can run across the entire continent, meet strangers (who are real, live people!) and talk to them.
  17. dude.  wow?  yeah.  it has pvp servers!  (that means player vs. player.  you can whack each other!)
  18. there are these things called professions where you use non-combat skills to do innovative things like craft new items!
  19. in wow, when a lot of people want to team up and socialize, they join what’s called a guild.
  20. and in wow, if you do something special, you get this thing called…  uh…  what was it?  an achievement?  no!  a badge!  that’s it!

so, you see?  war is very much as different from wow as wow is different than everquest.

geez!

gosh!

*emo eye roll*

m3mnoch.

[editor’s note:  to those of you who missed the humor, yes, i am making fun of the noise surrounding bartle’s interview with michael zenke of massively and his “I’ve already played Warhammer. It was called World of Warcraft.” comment.  thank god there are bloggers-turned-game-developers who know what they are talking about and can understand why this is funny.  unfortunately, there are also people who are bloggers-not-turned-game-developers are stirring the pot full of shit they don’t fully understand.  all the while the rest of us just sit here and point and laugh.]

[editor’s note 2: btw, that list of 20 features is identical from eq to wow to war.  which is obviously why the comment “war is as different from wow as wow is different than everquest” is so ignorant, yet at the same time so goddamn funny.]

[editor’s note 3: oh, and the opinions expressed here are obviously not necessarily the opinions of my employers, past, present or future.  and, with that out of the way, it means i can use a whole lot less tact since this is personal.  hooray for disclaimers!]

Phone Providers are Officially "On Notice"

if you missed the deluge yesterday, you must have been in a cave.  i’ll recap.  the 3g iphone is here and it’s only $200.  service and hardware providers?  you’re officially on notice. you have a month to figure your shit out.

what does that really mean tho?  lemme offer a couple bits of advice.

  1. do you make smart phone hardware?  you are no longer allowed to sell it for more than $200.  gone are the days of the $700 treo.
  2. do you run a cdma network?  you’re screwed.  the only way you can compete now is with a cheaper data plan AND cheaper smart phones.

ignore this at your own peril.  doing so will result in a mass end-of-contract exodus.  period.

m3mnoch.

p.s.  apparently the world is already going to hell in a handbasket for verizon and sprint.  o2 is actually giving away the iphone for free.  others in the u.s. will surely follow.

UPDATE: a fleshed out version of this on business week: http://www.businessweek.com/technology/content/jun2008/tc20080615_856046.htm

Lawful Good Human Fighter

in celebration of d&d 4e hitting the streets.

http://twinrose.net/dandchar.php

You Are A:

Lawful Good Human Fighter

Alignment:
Lawful Good characters are the epitome of all that is just and good. They believe in order and governments that work for the benefit of all, and generally do not mind doing direct work to further their beliefs.
Race:
Humans are the ‘average’ race. They have the shortest life spans, and because of this, they tend to avoid the racial prejudices that other races are known for. They are also very curious and tend to live ‘for the moment’.
Primary Class:
Fighters are the warriors. They use weapons to accomplish their goals. This isn’t to say that they aren’t intelligent, but that they do, in fact, believe that violence is frequently the answer.
Secondary Class:

Detailed Results:
Alignment:
Law and Chaos:
Law ----- XXXXXXXX (8)
Neutral - XXXX (4)
Chaos --- XXXXXX (6)

Good and Evil:
Good —- XXXXXXXX (8)
Neutral – XXXX (4)
Evil —- (0)

Race:
Human —- XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX (20)
Half-Elf – XXXXXX (6)
Elf —— XXXX (4)
Gnome —- XXXX (4)
Halfling – XXXXXXXX (8)
Dwarf —- XXXXXXXXXX (10)
Half-Orc – XXXXXXXXXX (10)

Class:
Fighter — XXXXXXXXXXXXXX (14)
Barbarian -XXXXXXXXXXXXX (13)
Ranger — XXX (3)
Monk —– (-1)
Paladin — XXXXXXXXXXX (11)
Cleric — (-1)
Mage —– XXXX (4)
Druid —- XX (2)
Thief —- (-7)
Bard —– XXXXX (5)

heh.  so telling! 

look at the class info.  at least there’s absolutely no ambiguity on whether or not i will beat your ass if you’re a badguy. 

m3mnoch.